nada

It's just one of those days..lab work is work. I'm accomplishing things and feeling like I'm getting somewhere. But I'm sure before I realize it, I'll feel like there's nothing working.

I have the uneasy feeling again this month. It's all too common for me. I get too emotional, start to wonder how others' feel...well I always wonder, but now I wonder more than usual. I start to get scared and afraid that just one word will put me down. I avoid a lot of situations, phone calls, as I'm in the mood to be irritated and upset quickly. I feel like a woman who wants to put out her horns and show the world what she's made up, and then the next minute I don't want to be heard or exist. At times I feel I could conquer it all, and then I feel like a pile of shit. I eat and eat and eat some more...and nothing seems to work. I eat lots of chocolate, which evidently shows it's hormonal shit fucked up in me..but how long can one do that? I try to keep myself busy, but my energy is so low...I feel fat, bloated and just not the normal me..

err...I try to sleep it off......but that only goes so far. Most months I just have to wait it out and crawl into my hole for a while till the uneasyness goes away.. :( I wish I could put out this sign around me and leave a msg on my phone that says "uneasssy days--please be careful of what you say"...cuz something which isn't anything will be a HUGE thing for me...

To hell with it..

I've been paying my bills online. I had a ton of shit to do...about 8 bills to pay. In addition to renewing my car tags online..only problem is that the service if f---ed up! It kept giving me an error. I'm too lazy to give a shit..I'll just wait till they mail the crap to my house and then my parents send it to me..

Err...then my cell phone payment, yah I was charged 1.77 extra this month for NO reason! I should seriously call in....just not in the mood at all! I hate sitting around waiting to get that 1.77 back.

Filed my taxes online..umm...I donno but I owe the state some money...I owed some last year too. Not sure if I did something wrong or not. I'm glad it's over and done with though. I paid quite a bit to file the crap and then have to pay it too...again, probably something I could have avoided.. [I think]

But all in all..honestly I'd rather spend the minimal amount of time I have on studying and other life things...then on worrying about minute amounts of money...

off to work..

One of a kind phone call..

So..it was the other day. A friend of mine who calls me almost every 3 months or so called one day and I didn't pick up. Then a day or so later he called again..this time I wasn't busy and picked up. He said he had been thinking and during his drive back from work, he had realized a few things, and wanted to make sure he apologized to me. It was interesting...I was like dude yah yah don't remind me..I know what you mean, but to hell with it..give it up. He said he didn't feel good about it. In fact he was afraid..

Anyways..guess people do turn around. My theory still stands...everyone who had done me wrong has come back! It just takes time.....I just can't stay outta their minds huh ;) hahahah...nahh

Friends....what would I do without them..

[Sentimental - Beware]

Friends I have many...too many. They all serve their purposes. It's funny how all of them will call me up just to see how I'm doing out of the blue. It's funny that no matter how busy they are, if I tell them I'm having a hard time, they will walk out of where-ever they are and just call. I try to do the same, yet I have never been up to par to some of them. I do get busy with school work but I am sure they all are busy with their respective work stuff too.

I think each one of them knows how much I appreciate them..as I do when I have the time call them too, or e-mail them.

It's funny how if we ever get into a tiff, they're generally the first ones to call back and apologize....but if I'm the one wrong, I admit it willingly as well.

It's just the day..

I'm not sure what it is...but today started out fast for me..I was really accomplishing a lot and trying to get things done. However, something happened along the way which completely brought me down. And it only got worse when I got home...the weather did it, the amount of cleaning in my apt did it...

Just don't feel the same...Don't really feel the way I want to feel either....I'm not sure why I have to be the one to feel this way...Sometimes I wish it was easier and I didn't have to explicitly write it..

Onto another thought..March has never ever been my month...way too much shit has happened to me during the course of my life to forget this month. There were times in my life that I would dread the month coming. I'm over it, but for some odd reason I was able to add more shit onto this month...now those things loom over me. I know they aren't bugging me now as much...but I look back to realize myself, my being..Reminds me of the song by John Anderson--don't ask her on a straight tequila night

Just one of those days when you wanna be alone...There's a song for this? right..I can hear it in my head...Yet I'm not sure I want to be completely Alone..depends on from whom..

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?