Uneasy..

Ever find yourself yearning for that something yet you don't know what it is? Ever feel like you know it, but then you wonder if that's what it really is. Ever feel so emotional and not know what to do about it? I get like this during my monthly friend time. It's so annoying to sit there and feel uneasy yet have no control of knowing what to do about it..Well I have control..I ignore it...it works about 50% of the time.

Not sure...I'm at a retreat with my group of people I work with. About 200+ of us here..I think. We have quite a bit of time off today finally. I've been spending it to myself, as I needed time away from people.. Yet my way of relaxing means that I usually come home and lay on my bed for a while then usually call a friend or mostly my friends call me, and at this time of day I pick up when I need it. Being at a place with no cell phone signal sucks..I miss that truely fullfilling conversation which leaves me feeling so great. I wonder if that's the conversations I miss or if it's me because of the period..

Wanna crawl up like a cat now...and just lay there...

It's completely not fair that I have to be such an emotional person when it comes to my period. There are so many girls out there who don't feel like shit..yet I have to! It's not fair at ALL :( You feel like crap....you feel like no one gives you enough attention...you feel like you wanna cry, you feel like you don't wanna eat, you feel like blahh...I can't explain it anymore...just not fair! My family has 3 women in it, my mom didn't feel like this when she had her periods, my sister is like immune to the concept of emotions like this though she's very unemotional and also because her periods were irregular her whole life. Then there's me.... :( My good friend who now lives in Spain feels it like I do, and another one of my friends here feels it like I do..otherwise, I'm alone :( I want my space at this time....yet I want that attention.....but the attention I want is only from a select few not the whole world...

Oh and my annoyance of the day..people telling others I love to do lab work because I work like a frikkin machine. Not that I love it, it's more that I need to get the job done..